In This Episode Manny (he/him) and Lucho (he/him) are son and father, and it’s the first time they enter {THE AND} space ever. They’ve always been very close, yet there are multiple topics they don’t exactly agree on because of the different ways they were both raised. Lucho, being a Mexican immigrant parent, thinks vulnerability is something you cannot show; while Manny thinks taking care of your own mental health is very important.
VIDEO
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Transcript
I've always felt like I can
be open and vulnerable with you,
but I've always got in the sense
like you're honest with me.
you don't tell me everything.
this would be a good chance
for you to try. - I don't- I don't-
You cannot show weakness.
And that's the mentality.
that vulnerability is weakness.
What are you hesitant to ask me
One thing I've never shared with you
I have had sleep troubles since forever.
I had night terrors and they're horrifying.
And still to this day, if I don't have
some sort of THC in my system,
I might not stay asleep because
especially with all the stresses
And for someone with a brain
ADHD, all the issues I have, it
culminates into the nighttime.
I guess I've just been scared to
And I just want to ask you,
As long as you're okay with it.
I mean, what am I going to do?
it is a surprise, it is a surprise.
you don't need anything like that.
But then again, we come from different
not mentalities, but different cultures
If that's something that you
There's not much I can do about it
or I'm not going to just reject you
do you think I still want your approval?
And why do you think that is?
I don't think there is one.
Because I have always given you
the freedom to make your decisions.
And you might ask for an opinion,
because you have the freedom to either
want to learn from your mistakes,
if there is a mistake to be made.
I don't feel that you need my approval on
I mean, I may not need it
but it doesn't mean I don't want it.
And one of the biggest things is
when I first brought my girlfriend home,
you just gave her the cold shoulder.
And it took almost six months for you to
Now, you know, you guys are hugging.
So I'm like, Oh, that's great.
But at first, I feel like
she's a big part of my life.
And she had been for a while already.
Even if you don't feel too
why can't you just be happy?
Why can't you just accept that?
It takes you a long time.
I was just scared of losing my baby.
That's the only explanation I have, though.
That I feel like an intruder came
even though you're way taller than me,
I still feel like I need to protect you.
And I'm not saying she's bad
but, I mean, it is not an specific case,
And that's the way I felt.
And I'm sorry if I did that way,
I still gotta look out for you.
Yeah. - That’s the only thing I can say.
and how does that scares you?
I'm not sure if it's even fair to say
because I'm just like- someone copy
into a younger, you know,
I don't feel necessarily scared by it.
I think I'm I'm eternally grateful for it
because at the end of the day,
one of the most important people to me,
and your opinion matters so much to me.
I'm compared to you and that's such a-
I hold you in such high regard,
I feel like I'm constantly in competition
I've been given this opportunity
and this great launching point.
you did all the work being yourself
and just pass it on to me
and I really feel this- this need to
go forward and make it even stronger.
And if I'm scared of anything, it's
because I know I'm hard on myself on
And at times I do feel like
if I'm upset with myself,
how can you be proud of me?
You've been working really hard,
and our lives have been very different
crossing the border was because
And this country has given me so much
that I really happy living in here.
And obviously that includes my family
living in the United States.
what did you want to hold on to
and what did you want to let go of?
because I didn't have a clue of
what I was going to be facing.
and scary at the same time,
maybe because of the age I was, but
image of the United States
Like, I thought once I cross the border,
I’m gonna buy my restaurant.
that I needed to work, and work, and work,
And not buying my restaurant still.
And so, it’s- I really don’t know.
But it's- it was- it was... like I say,
I didn't have an idea of what I was
you just wanted to leave behind?
I didn't want to leave anything behind.
I just wanted to be... how do you say it? Like, independent.
buy my own clothes, my own shoes.
Why not say, my own soda?
Because out there I didn't have that.
And my idea in my head was to be-
to come to the United States, work
for like four or five years,
going back to my hometown
And as soon as I step in this side,
I realized that I wasn't going to come back.
‘Cause I love United States.
So I've actually never thought about it
like that because, you know,
I'm- when I look at the U.S.,
as a citizen in the scope of,
What's wrong with it? How do we fix it?
Because I know you just said
and get a restaurant like, really...
What did the idea of America
make money, go back. That’s it.
It makes sense, you were 14.
And what was the price for that dream?
So you told me your fantasy.
very important people in my life,
I was not able to go see them
they were very important.
The ones that took you in?
Yeah, I lost whoever raised me.
That's who I'm named after? Right?
Is that who I'm named after?
That’s why I named you Manuel.
you wish we never had and why?
It's not a secret that we both miss
but we don't see him anymore.
And as much as I enjoyed the highlights
to spend Christmas with us in Vegas,
it left such a hole in our relationship.
the way things went down.
I really wish it never happened.
because the first time he left,
And I have finally started to feel like
after five years, my brother's back.
I got my brother back, you know?
the most important person in my life.
But right next to you is _________,
he was right there and growing up,
I have with me every single day?
Who did I always look up to?
And when we had Christmas with him,
the highlights were great.
I loved every second of it
I was with him again, you know,
like we were how we used to be.
Then the way it ended was just so
and detrimental to the relationship
we were finally gaining back.
and all the positive memories we had
because I'll always remember it as
as the day that I felt like
And I know you feel like that too.
And if there was something
change that, I would have changed that with not-
up to this point, I still
if there is something I would,
that is something that I would
like to have back more than anything.
be our last conversation ever,
what would you never want me to forget?
I'm proud of you, too, Dad.
Hey, if you were watching that video
and you want to ask those questions
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