If You're Wondering About... The Closeness Of Siblings
Overview
“If you’re wondering about…” is a video series that collects moments about specific topics that were talked about within our deep catalogue of conversations.
The vision of {THE AND} is to build a catalogue of humans expressing their experiences and what it means to be in relationship with one another in the 21st Century. We believe there is something to learn from everyone, and that one’s life experience shared can be medicine for another, and vice versa. Thus we are proud to share with you moments pulled from our {THE AND} library that reflect exploration around a particular subject or situation.
In This Episode
Siblings get nostalgic about their relationship with each other and share stories about moments that brought them closer together.
As we explore new perspectives we invite you to step into the emotional space of connection and experience the deeper lessons that shared experiences can afford humanity. To everyone who has participated openly and vulnerably in our project - we appreciate what you have shared with us and hope others do as well.
Transcript
0:02
If I had to be on a remote
0:04
island with, like, one person.
0:06
Like, it would be hard for me to choose
0:07
between, like,
0:08
you and and _________, who, like, obviously, like,
0:10
I love and adore. - ___________ is very useful though.
0:13
He is. - He's like, as useful as me,
0:15
I feel like. - He is.
0:17
But like,
0:17
you're al- you like
0:19
you're still like my favorite person.
0:22
I think.
0:29
Oh.
0:30
If for some reason I lost all my memory,
0:32
what's the first thing you’d tell me
0:34
about us?
0:36
Huh...
0:38
Right after I said I wasn't gonna cry.
0:48
So the thought of that
0:49
obviously scares me.
0:53
And I also.
0:54
I just said, like,
0:56
the reason why we're so close
0:57
is because we've gone through
0:58
so much of similar experiences together.
1:03
But
1:13
like I said at the very beginning,
1:16
you're my sister.
1:16
You're my big sister. I love you.
1:17
That's it.
1:25
And I wouldn't
1:26
I wouldn't
1:26
hit all like,
1:27
I really imagine
1:28
this is as realistic scenario.
1:30
I wouldn't tell- - Woke up from a comma and-
1:32
Like what's going on?
1:33
I would hid all the stuff
1:34
until we had a basis of friendship.
1:37
But it would be different, it would be different
1:38
because you
1:39
you wouldn't be coming into it
1:40
with your own
1:42
knowledge of what happened.
1:45
I think I would want to tell you.
1:46
I don't think
1:47
I would want to keep it from you.
1:49
That we’re siblings?
1:50
No, no, that
1:50
we went through all that together
1:54
because part of me,
1:55
when I first heard the question
1:56
was, oh, actually,
1:57
I don't know if I would tell her
1:59
she would have such a better life
2:01
if she didn't.
2:10
But important things are
2:12
obviously you're waking up from a coma.
2:14
Who is this person? I'm Alexa.
2:16
You're my sister.
2:17
You're my big sister.
2:25
We like to go to shows together.
2:29
We want to travel the world together.
2:34
We’ll get to
2:34
the other side.
2:41
Okay. - Alright.
2:46
Why do you love me?
2:52
What's not to love?
2:58
Obviously, part of it is the way that
2:59
we grew up together,
3:01
having gone
3:01
through so much of the similar things
3:04
growing up with our parents,
3:05
the way that they loved
3:06
us, the way that they weren’t able
3:08
to love us.
3:09
Going through
3:11
your eating disorder together,
3:12
obviously it's not the same
3:14
for each of us
3:14
because I didn't have it, but both of us
3:18
having to be so emotionally open.
3:22
I remember one time when we just
3:24
we were literally just
3:25
crying our eyes out
3:26
next to each other,
3:27
and you had snot all over
3:28
your shirt, and I had it on mine.
3:29
And we hugged each other.
3:32
Knowing that
3:34
I gave you that kind of care
3:36
and love and I did all that for you.
3:37
And knowing
3:38
that you would do
3:39
all of that
3:39
and more in a heartbeat for me
3:41
if I ever needed it.
3:43
Knowing how much you care
3:44
for other people,
3:45
how much you prioritize other people,
3:46
whenever you can possible,
3:48
whenever it doesn't
3:48
put your own health at risk.
3:50
Knowing how much of your life you've
3:52
dedicated to
3:54
helping strangers
3:55
you've never met
3:55
and we'll probably never meet ever again.
3:58
You're just so selfless
4:00
in all these ways
4:01
that so many other people are not.
4:04
That's really inspiring.
4:09
If this was to be our last conversation,
4:10
what's something
4:11
you never want me to forget?
4:14
Oh, shit.
4:17
It's so sad
4:17
because I already know the answer.
4:18
Cause I've already thought about that
4:19
shit before.
4:20
If this was our last conversation.
4:22
what I’d want you to never forget
4:23
is- is that you don't have to be perfect.
4:26
Really.
4:28
Don’t strive for greatness.
4:29
Really. Don't strive for greatness.
4:31
Strive for progress.
4:32
Because if you strive for greatness,
4:34
you don't always
4:35
you ain't always gonna feel like
4:36
you ain’t never good enough.
4:37
And you’re good enough for somebody,
4:40
period.
4:40
That's what I’d want to tell you.
4:43
Throw that in your pocket.
4:45
Yeah.
4:45
I've also thought about this
4:48
and all that said
4:49
that says, I do, I love you,
4:51
don't ever question that.
4:53
And you are a lot stronger than what
4:55
you give yourself credit for.
4:57
I do love you tho.
4:58
I never said that. Did I?
4:59
I did not say that.
5:00
I thought of all the, like,
5:01
inspirational stuff.
5:03
Well, I know that.
5:03
You only have to say it sometimes.
5:05
I just know it.
5:06
You know it?
5:06
You can feel it.
5:07
Yeah.
5:08
I didn't cry.
5:10
I’m gonna cry in the car.
5:11
Yeah, I know you are, I can see.
5:12
I can see it in your eyes
5:14
I’m gonna cry in the car.
5:17
While listening to Mary J.
5:18
Blige is what it is.
5:22
No other tears coming out of me.
5:24
You ain’t got no tears?
5:26
No.
5:30
When do you feel the closest to me
5:31
and why?
5:32
I feel the closest to you...
5:35
Probably
5:35
like when I'm going through my hard days
5:38
where I don't really want
5:42
to talk or
5:44
I'm really sad and I call you
5:46
and I'm like, I just
5:46
I feel like a potato and,
5:48
you know, I'm sad.
5:50
And then you just make me feel better.
5:52
I don't know what it is
5:53
that you say to me.
5:54
You probably are just like, It's okay.
5:55
And I'm like, She said, It's okay.
5:57
I'm good.
5:59
What do you think?
6:00
I think the same thing.
6:01
Like even when you moved to Philly,
6:03
like our facetimes,
6:05
like even just scrolling through my phone
6:06
and seeing
6:07
like my call history and stuff is just
6:09
has like
6:09
you and like facetime
6:12
calls and things like that.
6:13
So I think it's just the fact that even
6:16
when we're far apart,
6:17
like we're thinking of each other
6:19
and seeing your face like
6:22
makes me feel more grounded.
6:24
So I feel like that's
6:25
when I feel closest to you.
6:29
Okay,
6:30
um, when do you feel the closest to me,
6:33
and why?
6:36
When do I feel the closest to
6:37
you and why?
6:38
Yeah. - Um hmm.
6:43
Basically, when my life is
6:44
is going to total crap. Really.
6:46
What?
6:47
Yeah, that's when
6:47
I feel the closest to you,
6:49
because you're always there.
6:50
So, like,
6:52
for instance,
6:52
if I'm moving or,
6:54
you know,
6:54
I need to like,
6:55
your place is home now
6:57
since grandma is gone.
6:58
And so I usually always
7:00
feel the closeness with you
7:01
when we're -when we’ve lived together.
7:03
And also too, just like
7:04
when we have our conversations on
7:05
the phone, we'll get into,
7:07
you know, good conversations.
7:08
And I feel the closest to you
7:11
when you give great advice, too,
7:14
because you always give really good
7:14
little big sister.
7:15
So you always give great advice.
7:18
Yeah, that's when I feel
7:19
definitely the closest.
7:24
When do you feel the closest to me?
7:26
It's probably.
7:28
Well, you would agree
7:29
when we're forced to.
7:31
What does that even mean? - Like-
7:32
You know,
7:32
like different circumstances
7:34
and scenarios
7:34
when they bring you closer together.
7:35
Oh, like dying.
7:36
Yes. No, not dying, but not dying.
7:38
Kind of just harder life circumstances.
7:41
Or when life throws
7:42
you a curveball
7:42
ending on a step up to the plate
7:43
and you have nothing else
7:44
and you need someone to rely on.
7:46
Circumstances like that.
7:48
So kind of like the Hurricane
7:50
Irma situation. No, seriously.
7:52
But it's like when you're
7:53
when you're having a difficult time
7:56
and you need to turn to
7:57
someone for advice
7:58
or you need somebody to mentor
7:59
you through it
8:00
and provide knowledge and resources from
8:03
that have been in that situation.
8:04
Even though you haven't really been
8:05
in most of the situations
8:07
that I've been in,
8:08
I usually turn to you for the advice.
8:10
And so that is where
8:11
I feel the closest to you
8:12
when you're like, okay, you're an idiot. - You’re being stupid.
8:15
Yeah, this is what you need to do. - Oh, don’t bother me,
8:16
I'm working.
8:17
Well, yes. No.
8:18
Usually when you're like,
8:19
Don't bother me, I'm working.
8:20
And then you write me
8:21
back, call me back, or we talk
8:23
and then you're like, Okay,
8:23
this is what you did wrong.
8:25
This is how you got to fix it.
8:26
This is what you need to do better
8:27
next time.
8:28
That's knowledgeable advice that I take from you.
8:29
Mmmm, well, well, well...
8:30
Look at who’s mouth that's coming out of. - Hmm.
8:35
When did you feel closest to me?
8:38
I do remember my favorite
8:39
when I felt the closest to you.
8:40
Nah! Oh, fuck!
8:43
All right.
8:44
I know what you're going to say. - I’m not gonna go into the details.
8:45
I know what you're gonna say.
8:46
You can say it. You could say it.
8:47
So I'm dropping __________ off.
8:49
And you standing there, you were like 16?
8:51
Yeah, I was 16.
8:52
And smiling like-
8:55
And I’m like: What's wrong with you? Why are you smiling?
8:58
Did you lost your virginity?
9:01
And you just kept smiling.
9:02
And I was like: _______ , get out of the car. Get out.
9:04
Hans, get in. Details.
9:07
Yeah, that was so bizarre
9:08
because I had like- I had like a plan.
9:10
I was like, be cool and keep it cool.
9:11
Like, tell people eventually.
9:13
And like, the first person I see, like
9:15
I get back from upstate
9:17
was like: what happened?
9:18
I thought I was special.
9:19
I thought you’re waiting to tell me.
9:20
No, fuck, no.
9:21
But I just like guessed: why are you smiling like that?
9:23
And you just lost your virginity.
9:25
Yeah.
9:27
I felt close
9:28
when I had my appendicitis thing.
9:30
Oh, yeah.
9:31
I remember that.
9:32
You dressed me in women's jeans throughout the household.
Leave a comment